Being human includes existing in society. We have never been without each other, and sometimes it seems like no one else can be without us. Knowing about the possible consequences of our actions is scary when action is expected in every turn of our lives.
I'm sure everyone can relate to this situation: You have a deadline coming up in a few days. It's a simple task in theory, but the thought of actually doing it brings a bad feeling. We can't act when we're feeling bad. Something that could have taken minutes to complete has now taken hours of passive brain time and bad feelings shoved to the side.
Situations like this are super common in my own life. I have been having a few bad days lately, and I noticed that this is the common factor between them all: avoiding work and responsability. Such a simple thing like washing the dishes in the morning scares me away from getting out of bed at all, and I later catch myself procrastinating all day because trying to avoid a small inconvenience. Small incovenience now big!
There are so many pitfalls that can come with this behavior. I've personally spent hours upon hours trying to remove all the distractions from my life, simplify every system, and rethink what I had around me. Lots of fake productivity being "done" without any actual progress. Although going into the deep end might be too much, human minds are very good at adapting, and I believe the real issue is not our distraction supply.
I have been without a phone for some time earlier in life. It felt revigorating because it signified hope of a radical change. I caught myself, however, repeating my past mistakes in ways that seemed new. Instead of doomscrolling, I started fidgeting with objects around my room seeking any dopamine reward. I'm sure music is more productive than Instagram in many ways, but making a problem less bad is not the same as finding the root cause of the behavior.
I want to fix myself for good. I want to look at a challenge and tackle it head-on. It's a little comic, but I relate to "How I Met Your Mother" protagonist Ted Mosby on this issue. As Barney points out, Ted has no success in his dating life because he takes no action to make anything happen. He spends all his energy thinking about how to do things the best, but ends up not doing anything as a result. I feel like the Ted of my own hobbies.
I still haven't found any magical solutions, but I sure am getting better slowly. I base myself off "don't let perfect be the enemy of good enough". We can always refine later. Every experience makes you more experienced. I can make a new website later. I can write a new post in the future. I can never recoup the wasted time, though. Life is too precious to throw it away thinking about its potential.